Over ten years ago, I wrote From Type A to Type Me: How to Stop “Doing” Life and Start Living It. At the time, the book was the blueprint for releasing my workaholic ways and learning how to care for myself. I had focused on the “stop doing” message of the book. The concept of “living” life was just the absence of workaholism and a new focus on self-care. What I realized this week is that I have moved into a new level of “living it.”
At the top of every year, there is a lot of focus on what we want to manifest in the new year. This year, with the Chinese New Year of the Fire Horse, the idea of moving into the next, manifesting, doing and creating, is amplified even more. For the last few years, I have struggled with what I want to do next. I have a half-finished second manuscript. I have explored new work opportunities. I have looked into charity work. Through it all, I did not feel like I found what I wanted to do next. Thankfully I did not force myself into choosing something that was not in alignment with my soul. In waiting it has become clear that I could not define what I wanted next because asking what is the wrong question.
For now, I am done creating. I am done doing. I am done with accomplishment. It is not fulfilling or meaningful to me. That does not mean that I sit around eating bonbons all day, but it does mean that my purpose and my reason for getting up in the morning does not revolve around bringing things to life. When I stopped asking myself what I wanted to do, and instead asked how I wanted to do it, I reinvigorated my drive for life. The what holds no meaning for me anymore. It is in the how that I am finding purpose, joy, and motivation.
My focus is now on how I am choosing to be. How I am approaching each and every moment. How am I interacting with others. How am I caring for myself. The task and the results hold little meaning compared to how I am experiencing the task and the results. My goal is to approach every moment ensuring that I am present, peaceful, and loving.
Peaceful: In our current divisive world, it is easy to be angry and afraid. It takes great strength to be peaceful in the center of the storm, yet this is what I strive for. Recently I was around others who wanted the drama, the hate, the fear, the entitlement. It was exhausting. It was emotionally painful. Remaining calm and centered when others are overcome by their emotion is not easy, but for me it is well worth the effort.
Loving: It is clear what the world needs now is more love. I may not be able to affect global policies or help everyone in need, but I can share love with all those I meet. During my recent visit to Germany, I experienced some anti-American sentiment, and rightfully so, I feel the same at times. I made a choice not to be afraid and not to attack back. Instead, I stood in love. I did my best to embody love, empathy, and compassion. Being love opens the door to understanding and communication. Even if dialog is not possible, I choose to put more love into the world as I desire more love in the world.
Presence: Being peaceful and exuding love is not possible without being present. The real heavy lifting is to be in the moment, each and every moment. It is in the moment that we have the ability to choose our actions and reactions. If I am replaying the past or worrying about the future, I react unconsciously from the previous playbook of my mind. Being present moves my decision center from the brain to the heart. It is in the heart, in the moment, that we have the best chance to change the current script of the world into something better.
In a world that honors grand gestures, bold accomplishments, and outward appearances, I am embracing my heart and my internal experience. It is through being the best person I can be that I can spread the peace and love I wish for the world.
*Dedicated to the amazing Güera who taught me to relish every moment and share love wherever we are.
