The last few weeks (months, years) I have been struggling with what I can do to make the world a better place. Do I join this political party? Do I send donations to this charity? Do I try to correct others when they are spewing false information? Do I try to calm others’ emotions and fears? While I tried to uncover the next right step to take, I discovered two things.
I don’t know what is right or wrong: The world we live in is complex. Clean yes or no answers don’t exist. Don’t let immigrants in before the long, expensive immigration process is complete, but what does that mean for families fleeing for their lives who do not have means or time for the process? Ban all abortions, but what about the underage girl who was raped? I certainly have my beliefs and feelings about different topics, but rarely can I sum them up on a bumper sticker. Life is too complex. There is always a “yes, but . . . .” Plus, I only see things from my point of view. I look at life through my eyes and experience. I don’t know what life looks like for others. Which leads me to my second realization.
It was presumptuously pompous of me to think I can fix others: I only see a sliver of someone. I don’t know their daily life, their history, their struggles. Plus, I only see life through my experience, not theirs. If I don’t know what is right and I don’t know the whole experience of another, how dare I assume I should be the one to reprimand and correct them? Sometimes I correct people because I believe my viewpoint is the right viewpoint. Other times, I focus on the behavior and actions of others because there is something in my own life I do not want to address.
So here is what I have decided, for me.
Focus on Me: The one area I do have complete control over is me. I can increase my awareness of my own thoughts, beliefs, and actions. I can consciously choose how I want to be with others in the world. I can amend and take responsibility for my missteps when they happen. Every day I can consciously choose to be the best person I can be. At the end of the day, I am the only thing I am responsible for and can truly affect.
Focus on Love: The root of all conflict on personal and global levels stems from division. We separate based on gender, culture, skin tone, beliefs, religions, lifestyle, wealth, geography, sports teams, and the list can go on. This division feeds fear, and fear feeds hate. I am not immune to the human emotion of fear. To counteract this fear, I am actively choosing compassion and oneness. Instead of noticing differences, I stop and look for the similarities. Instead of reacting with fear or disdain, I do my best to find compassion. This is not easy. Honestly, sometimes I want to be angry. In those times, I do my best not to act on my fear or anger. I remember the phrase, “We are responsible for our second thought and our first action.” My first thought may be annoyance or anger over another’s actions or beliefs. Then I pause and find a second thought based in love and choose to act from that second thought.
I can not fix the world. I CAN fix MY life. I can approach each person, each conflict coming from a viewpoint of unity and doing my best to show love, acceptance, and compassion. It is not my place to make others join me in this way of being, but can you imagine the world if we all tried?
